"For anybody who could use a break"
purpose, identity, nature, and productivity
I cannot help but wonder about the future, about my legacy, if I am doing enough, and whether what I'm doing really matters. It bothers me to think that all I might leave behind is helping a company "sell more stuff.”
This nagging thought stuck with me while reading into A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers last week. Labelled as science fiction, the book unfolds more like a soothing philosophical quest for meaning, much like "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho. Both tales feature protagonists embarking on dual journeys—both physical and spiritual—to unearth their true identities and find their rightful places in this vast world.
A Psalm for the Wild-Built addresses life's big questions about purpose and happiness. The dedication, "For anybody who could use a break," resonated deeply with me, particularly since my New Year's resolution was to not start new projects in January. The book offers a hopeful perspective on life, a refreshing departure from typical dystopian stories.
Dex, the protagonist, reflects: "Still. Something is missing. Something is off. How spoiled am I? How broken? What is wrong with me that I can have everything I could ever want, yet still wake up feeling like every day is a slog?" This struck a chord with me as I grapple with what 'enough' looks like—not from greed, but from the perspective of a self-employed individual accustomed to constant busyness.
What does it mean to make room for my art, to live as an artist genuinely? Is it about learning to say no? How do I find peace with my achievements, believing I'm doing more than enough without the relentless drive for productivity?
For years, my identity was intertwined with my job—photography, design, yoga teaching, and community involvement—all merged into who I am. It's complex. But there comes a point when stepping back is necessary.
"You keep asking why your work is not enough, and I struggle to find an answer because simply being in the world is enough. You don’t need to justify that, or earn it. You’re allowed to just be."
Realizing the inherent value of simply being alive is freeing. Raised in Canada, in a culture that idolizes busyness, I absorbed the belief that constant activity was virtuous. However, the novella counters this, asserting the marvel of merely being alive and aware, with no need for achievements to validate our existence.
This understanding reaffirms a belief in inherent self-worth, independent of external approval or societal expectations. It emphasizes that our mere presence is significant and that we do not need to earn our place in the world through constant accomplishments.
Pursue what brings you joy without worrying about about comparisons. Remember, 'we don’t have to fall into the same category to be of equal value.' Each of us brings something unique to the table.
But consider this: "Isn’t it thrilling just to be conscious? Here we are, in this vast universe, on this tiny planet, part of a cosmic history where every element has been endlessly recycled into extraordinary forms. And sometimes, these forms are special enough to perceive their surroundings. You and I—we’re just atoms that happened to arrange themselves perfectly. Isn’t that mind-blowing?"
With this perspective, fretting over whether we’re 'doing enough' seems rather trivial, doesn’t it?
What I was watching
Interview - Siân Davey: The Garden
“Each work will reflect something about my own history and what I need to understand”
Starting in 2020, British photographer Siân Davey transformed her abandoned garden over three summers into a vibrant space, filled with wildflowers, birdsong and people.
Together with her son, Luke, Davey cultivated a space rooted in love. They researched native flowers and encouraged biodiversity, sourcing seeds and plants locally. When the flowers bloomed, they called in the community. Everyone had a place in The Garden; the mothers and daughters, the lonely, the marginalised, lovers, the traumatised and heartbroken and those that had concealed a lifetime of shame. The space became an expression of yearning, defiance, joy and interconnectedness.
Soho Photography Quarter (SPQ) is an outdoor cultural space for all to enjoy just outside The Photographers' Gallery. Open-air exhibitions and other events bring you the very best of contemporary photography, for free, all year round.
"Everyone has a place in our garden" – Siân Davey.
What I was reading
Is it dumb to quit something I worked hard to get?
Am I a failure and/or a flake?
Emily McDowell
In other words, “success” requires us to stay beholden to a decision made at some point in the past — sometimes the distant past — by a version of ourselves who had less life experience, less information, and perhaps not a whole lot in common with the person we’ve evolved to become.
Personal Work
Hey you made it to the end! I have a little secret for you.
Corey and I ran a 5k trail race over the weekend, organized by our local running shop. First off, when I was running a lot, I was a road runner, focused on getting a faster 10k. Secondly, I really haven't run much over the winter. So, an unfit roadrunner decided to tackle a trail race. Let's just say I was sore from doing my best, which included tripping twice but luckily not falling once. I'll take that as a win. I have some hiking goals for the summer, but soon will be starting a running program with my friend and running coach, Andrea Rice.
